Wanderlust Read online

  Wanderlust

  Heather Hudak

  Published by Heather C. Hudak.

  Copyright ©2011 Heather C. Hudak

  All rights reserved.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to any real person living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the author.

  Acknowledgements

  There are so many people to thank for their continued support through the writing process. My parents always urged me to do whatever I wanted in this world, but they were always especially encouraging of my writing ability. I credit my Grade 6 teacher, Mr. Gordon Stewart, with convincing me that it was okay to be an artist. And, I owe him a thousand thank yous for that.

  Then, there’s my husband, who tackles the housework and countless other errands so that I can spend my evenings and weekends writing. And, I can’t forget to mention my menagerie. I’m not sure how I would get through the day without one or another of them curling up on the computer keyboard or causing a ruckus.

  Finally, to my many fans, I send a huge shout out. I had no idea that Breathless would garner so much support, and it’s thanks to each and every one of you. There are so many readers that have sent me messages and follow my blogs, and I am truly thankful for each and every one of you.

  Wanderlust

  By Heather C. Hudak

  …my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits…

  -Ludwig van Beethoven

  Prologue

  I was having trouble letting her go. Crazy. That was the only word that could effectively describe my frame of mind.

  ****

  I took a peak at the clock and realized I had only a mere few minutes to gather the remainder of my belongings. I began busily jamming extra sweaters and socks into my bag. I had just finished tucking the last of my toiletries inside my backpack when I heard the bedroom door creak open.

  I paused for a moment before turning around. Part of me wanted desperately for it to be him. We parted ways more than a week ago, but I hadn’t stopped thinking about him for even a moment--was he still in town? Had he been watching me? Did he leave? These thoughts ran through my mind all day, every day. Even now, as much as I would be mad at him for returning against my wishes, there was a sense of relief at the thought that he had been thinking of me too. Then, I heard the voice, and I hesitated another moment.

  “Have you got everything you need?” my mom asked as she entered the room.

  My shoulders slumped, and I let out an audible sigh. Disappointment washed over me at the sight of her. I loved my mom, but she wasn‘t Chaseyn.

  “I sure hope so. I don’t have any more room in my bag if I don’t,” I said through a half laugh. I didn’t want her to see the upset in my eyes. I missed him so much now, and I couldn’t imagine what it would be like in a few more weeks.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you to the airport, hon?”

  “No, mom, I’m fine. You worked all night, and you have to go back in a few hours. Get some sleep. Addie’s driver is picking me up any minute.”

  “Okay,” my mother replied, reluctance clear behind her ice-blue eyes. She hugged me tight before holding me out at arms length and inspecting me from head to toe. It was as if she wanted to remember me and this moment exactly as it was, forever.

  “I can’t believe you’re all grown up, Lia. I’m so proud of you,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. “Be safe.”

  A car horn honked outside, and my mother pulled me close one last time. I slung my oversized pack across my back and darted to the door. I paused for a brief moment before stepping outside and looked back.

  “I love you, mom.”

  “I love you, too.”

  ***

  “OMG, Lia, I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” Addie squealed, throwing her arms around me while I slid into the backseat of the black Cadillac. “It’s so amazing--three whole weeks without parents, curfews, boyfriends. Aren’t you excited?”

  I had been, until she mentioned the last part, and my thoughts instantly returned to Chaseyn--his emerald eyes, dark waves, long, lean muscles. I was acting like an insecure, lovesick, girl, which was the exact reason I needed time away from him, but my heart literally ached at the memory of our last kiss. I touched my lips gently, and I could feel the searing heat of our passion.

  “Earth to Lia. Are you in there?”

  “Uh, yeah, sorry. I was just…nothing. I’m so excited I can hardly keep my head on straight,” I gave my head a shake and lied. It’s not that I wasn’t excited, because I was. I had dreamed of this type of adventure--of seeing the world--for so long, and I couldn’t put into words the thrill of it, but my thoughts lingered on Chaseyn no less.

  “So, Rob came over this morning,” Addie broke into my silent sulking. “He wanted to give me a proper goodbye.”

  I knew all to well what she meant, and the thought made me yearn for Chaseyn’s touch even more.

  “We said goodbye--twice,” she said with a wink.

  “Aren’t you scared your parents will find out? I could never do that knowing my mom was just across the hall.”

  “That’s because your house is so small that your mom is actually just across the hall.”

  Addie had a point. Her parents had built an addition onto their home when Addie turned 16 so that she could have an entire wing to herself. She had full privacy 24/7. Not to mention that between work and travel, her parents were rarely home. She was an afterthought most days.

  “Don’t get me wrong, there’s always the possibility we’ll get caught, but that kind of adds to the excitement. Don’t you think?”

  “I wouldn’t know. Chaseyn and I never--”

  “Come on, Lia,” Addie cut me off mid-sentence. “I know you guys were all secretive and all that, but it’s time to drop the act. Do you actually expect me to believe you’ve never stripped down and done the nasty with that gorgeous piece of a--”

  It was my turn to cut her off, and I did so by waving my hands frantically in the air.

  “I don’t want to talk about this. And, no. We never did that, and you know it. Believe me, it was hard sometimes to resist, but I need to be sure of what I want first. I’m not rushing anything that I can’t undo.”

  “Are you saying I should have waited?”

  “No. What’s right for me might not be right for you. I’m just saying that I know I love Chaseyn, but I can’t be sure that he’s my future.”

  She had no idea how deep it cut to admit that. Chaseyn was everything I ever wanted--every hope, every dream, and every lust-filled fantasy. But, he was also half-vampire. The implications of that were almost too much to bear sometimes.

  “But it sure would have been fun,” Addie said with a sly smile, and I could almost see her thoughts. “Do you think he would take his boots off? Just think about stripping him out of his Henley and black jeans. I bet he’s all sinewy under those dark layers.”

  She was practically drooling, and I would be lying to say that my mind wasn’t working on overdrive at the thought. Still, this was the last thing I wanted to discuss right now, or for the next three weeks for that matter.

  “Stop,” I said, raising a hand to her. “No more talk of Chaseyn. We need to establis
h some rules right now, and he is totally off limits as a topic of conversation, unless I say otherwise. Agreed?”

  “Fine,” Addie harrumphed.

  “Good. Let’s talk about something else then. What does Rob think about you leaving?”

  “Let’s not talk about that right now, either,” she said, sniffling. I had clearly touched on a sore spot.

  “Kay.”

  We rode in silence the rest of the way.

  July 4th is one of the quietest travel days of the year. In fact, the airport was all but empty. In our excitement, we had expected massive line ups and huge delays, so we arrived at the airport a solid three hours early. Instead, we were greeted by half-a-dozen agents who were bored out of their minds and eager to assist us. We were through customs and at the gate in less than 30 minutes.

  “So, what do we do now?” I asked, drawing circles in the carpet with my right foot. “Is it always this boring at the airport?”

  “We could go to the arcade,” a deep voice said from behind me, his hand clamped on my shoulder. An unexpected guest--at least, unexpected to me--had stopped me in my tracks.

  “Eli?“

  In that instant, I knew that everything I had planned for this trip was about to change. Eli Bethsby would be joining Addie and I on our trip. The thought made my stomach turn. Not because I disliked Eli, but because I liked him a little too much.

  Chapter 1 - Leaving

  Waiting to board the plane felt a little like graduation convocation. It took so long for my name to be called that I nearly forgot the reason why I had been sitting there all those hours in a ridiculous hat and enormous muumuu. Days later, here I was again, waiting with baited breath for my name—or aisle rather—to be called.

  The flight attendant spoke in muffled words over the PA, but despite the static, the message was clear--our plane was ready to board, and we would be piling on any minute. Before boarding, I decided to make one last sweep of the newsstand. It was going to be a long flight, and I wanted to be sure I had sufficient reading materials so that my mind would have less opportunity to wander to thoughts of Chaseyn.

  The past year had been an emotional rollercoaster, and I was in desperate need of some time away to sort through my thoughts before I moved from Evergreen to Denver in August. I wanted to stay as near to my mom as possible, so despite being offered scholarships across the country, I was starting freshman year at college there in the fall--less than an hour drive from home. In the meantime, I needed to come to a decision about my relationship with Chaseyn.

  For now, I needed to focus on something else.

  “Hey! Wait up,” Eli shouted after me as I walked quickly toward the magazine racks.

  “What’s up, Eli?” I asked only half caring what he had to say. To imply that I was only moderately disappointed that he had crashed our girls-only getaway was the understatement of the century. The thought of spending the next several weeks under his watchful, and perhaps slightly lustful, gaze was disconcerting to say the least.

  “Chaseyn said it’s okay, you know?” he said cryptically. Chaseyn. The absent, but ever-present, love of my life. I had asked him to give me space to carve my own way in the world, but now, with Eli looking so eager to please, I was regretting my decision.

  “Huh?”

  “He said it would be okay for you to fall in love with me,” Eli explained.

  “Don’t get your hopes up,” I chided.

  “Lia, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together over the next few weeks, and I am confident that you will see me in a new light.”

  “Look, Eli. I’ve told you this a dozen times. I love Chasyen.”

  Chaseyn was my everything. He was my love, my rock, and my biggest fear--not so much because he was half-vampire, but because he meant so much to me. I worried about the risks I would take to be with him. I worried that I would give up everything I had ever wanted for myself in order to be with him. That’s how much I loved him, and it terrified me. I didn’t want to be one of those girls, but I could appreciate how easy it would be to fall into that pattern. That’s what had led to me to this point.

  For now, we were on a break, and he promised to keep his distance until I could be absolutely certain that I was comfortable with us…him. He had assured me time and time again that we would build a life together…not one based on his wants alone. But before we could do that, I needed to determine want I wanted, aside from being with him. Even now, warmth swept through me at the mere thought of his hungry kisses, and a blush rose in my cheeks.

  “Yes, but I’m here instead of him. There must be a reason why you sent him away, and I am determined to find out why. In the meantime, I’m going to make you love me.”

  I just laughed and rolled my eyes.

  “It’s not funny,” he insisted. “Chaseyn said he would gladly step aside, and I plan on taking him up on that offer.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said coyly. That’s when I heard the airline call our seating area, so I took my purchase to the counter and paid. On the walk back, Eli slung his arm playfully around my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. I simply wasn’t in the mood.

  Making our way through the narrow aisle on the A380, we were comforted by the fact that, at least, our seats were near the front of the bird. Our patience with the long boarding process would be rewarded by being some of the first people off the plane once we had touched down on the other side of the ocean. Though, that seemed a long time to wait for such a pittance.

  Refusing Eli’s offer of assistance—I was, after all, making every effort to exert my independence from male companionship—I schlepped my heavy backpack into the overhead bin and took the middle seat. Stuck between Addie and Eli for a nine-hour flight; the thought was painful at best. I loved Addie, really, I did, but between the constant chatter about her sunshine-and-rainbows life and Eli’s passive-aggressive attempts to woo me, I was sure my mind would spontaneously combust before we were safely back on the ground. And, we hadn’t even taken flight yet.

  Finally, we strapped ourselves in and sat in silence as the cabin crew prepared for departure. I was nervous. Really nervous, and I chewed at the skin around the nail of my left thumb, sighing when a bead of blood oozed from the gash I had made with my teeth. If Chaseyn had been here, he would have enjoyed the gruesome “treat.” It still creeped me out when he did things like that, and I chuckled as a chill ran down my spine at the thought. Finally, something I wouldn’t miss about him--an inherent flaw in someone I had always seen as flawless.

  I had never been anywhere, really. Not outside the continental United States, anyway. Okay, aside from channeling the north western corner of Oklahoma on road trips to visit my grandma in Amarillo, I had never been outside of Colorado or Texas. Sheltered? Not quite. Deprived? Maybe.

  My dad had died when I was just a kid, and my mom had to work extremely hard just to keep a roof over our heads. Luxuries like travel had never been a part of my vocabulary. On the contrary, my best friend, Addie, had lived a charmed life. As a kid, I would sit on the front porch drooling over the caption-length notes she would scribble on the back of glossy postcards and send to me from her travels around the world. I stared at those cards for hours, hanging onto every word. Over and over again, I would read each line and imagine I was jet setting to the same exotic locales featured on the front cover. Finally, I was bringing those dreams to life and heading on a summer-long adventure abroad. Addie was going to act as my personal guide, giving me the grand tour of all her favorite European destinations.

  Addie had a way of showering me with lavish gifts, but it only made me feel indebted to her. The only way I would agree to come on this trip was if I paid my own way. Over the school year, I had managed to scrape together enough to finance three weeks of mediocrity abroad. I had read every budget travel book available at the local library, and I was thrilled at the untold possibilities of the summer. Addie, on the other hand, would be stepping down her standards over the next few weeks. The luxuries
to which she had grown accustomed during her family’s overseas journeys would be limited on this particular venture. We were roughing it, to say the least. Given the limited reach of my funds, we would be staying in less-than-stellar establishments for most of our adventure. Addie claimed she was eager to explore how the other half lived, but I suspected she was cringing a wee bit underneath that chipper smile. It wouldn’t be a complete surprise one bit if she lavished us with a few expensive resort stays along the way. In fact, I was counting on it.

  Chapter 2 - Takeoff

  Now that we were comfortably seated in the exit aisle and properly informed about our responsibilities as the lucky recipients of such coveted seating arrangements, we settled in for the long flight. As Addie leaned over to reach into her enormous Louis Vuitton tote for her iPod, I couldn’t help but notice a sleek chain pop out from under her shirt collar. A small loop dangled like a pendant from the center of the white gold necklace, a shiny gem—only marginally larger than a pinhead—glistened like the sun from the circular object.

  “Addie, what is that?” I questioned, pointing a finger at the ring that was now laying flat against her chest. “Is that a promise ring?”

  “No,” she said shyly. “Not exactly.”

  “Then, what is it?”

  “Well, Rob was upset that I was leaving, and he wanted to be sure I knew how much he cared about me,” she started explaining.

  “And,” I urged her to cut to the chase, flapping my hands in an effort to speed up her speech.

  “Well, it’s sort of…Oh, Lia. I can’t say any more.”